'Erbarme dich, mein Gott' from 'St Matthew Passion' (BWV 244) by J.S. Bach. Performed by the Netherlands Bach Society conducted by Jos van Veldhoven. Soloists: Tim Mead (Alto), Shunske Sato (violin).
39. Arie (Alt I)
Erbarme dich, mein Gott,
um meiner Zähren willen!
Schaue hier,
Herz und Auge weint vor dir bitterlich.
39. Aria
Have mercy, Lord, on me,
Regard my bitter weeping,
Look at me, heart and eyes
Both weep to Thee bitterly.
Dear Pilgrim,
Bach’s aria “Erbarme Dich” (Have mercy, o God") in his St Matthew Passion is probably the most famous and beloved of the arias. Today I invite you to take refuge in this plea for mercy with one of the most beautiful interpretations I have ever heard, and the angelic earnestness of the male Alto Tim Mead and the Netherland Bach Society. Do listen first, before reading on.
Towards Compassion
In the liturgical year Holy Thursday is the first day of the Easter Triduum and the high point of Holy Week. It often starts with the ritual of washing feet during the Mass of the Lord's Supper, reminding us of Divine love bending deep into our human existence giving itself fully without ever exhausting itself.
I started Holy Thursday trying to juggle doctor’s appointments, a sick child and the beginning of the Triduum here at the monastery. Still I got lost somewhere on the way. I always get lost somewhere on the way on every pilgrimage.
How have you been doing?
Some of you might just start out walking the walk, some of you might have felt the power of resistance which wants us to turn to other “more important” things.
So let’s remind us, dear fellow pilgrims, what we have been setting out to do.
On our passion journey we are following the movement of our soul from passion to com-passion and from lamenting to the hope of mercy and new life. Layer for layer we come closer to love eternal who wants to dwell in our bleeding heart. One fellow traveler wrote that that peeling of self feels like snow melting - very slowly.
On Monday, we introduced this Aria, “Erbarme Dich,” to you, as a ritual expression of grief and longing that can break through our resistance. Yesterday we learned that Bach has placed this Aria of longing desire right after the scene of Peter’s bitterly weeping about his betrayal.
And now Bach's Aria "Erbarme Dich / Have Mercy." It is like Bach has written it as a gift, to himself and the world. For me it is the most heartbreaking and the most needed every Passion season. And thus, I always come back to it. Bach has placed this Aria in his Passion story right after the scene when Peter cries bitterly about his betrayal. This is how Peter came to the first Passion week. And found mercy for his grief. It is a balm also to our experiences of betrayal or failure or short comings or melt downs and the door to Good Friday.
It embodies the recurring, haunting, cyclical intertwining of our human grief and the eternal compassion that enfolds us. It is a vessel that can hold Peter’s grief as well as our own, and surround it with compassion. It is the round, open, welcoming, door to Good Friday. It is a bridge that can span the vast emptiness of Holy Saturday and lead us to Easter.
And our all too human and halting grief is the garden where it grows.
“Grief is the garden of compassion. Keep your heart open through everything; your pain will become your greatest ally.”
So bring your grief, your shame, your stumbling unbelief and open your heart to the compassion this Aria offers.
Listening Practice
What is left for us to do is to listen, again, and another time to our hearts and to this Aria. To take in the melancholic dance of the violin, the angelic voice of the alto, the expressive postures of the musicians, the repetition of the plea “Erbarme Dich, mein Gott… / miserere mei Deus / Have mercy, my God, with me” or as it is probably best literally translated “Pity me, my God” - - if we understand pity in the connotation of compassion as we find it in the German verb “erbarmen."
Listen.
Listen with the ear of your heart. Chew on the lyrics, eat the scroll. Taste the purity and the subtle blending of the emotion. Follow the movement of the spirit, which transmutes our passion into com-passion.
Be present.
Take every note, every movement, every word to heart. Hold it dear, as you would the beloved. Enter the sacred space where our tears become rain drops, falling softly on fertile ground. Let your heart be moved to open up and to trust that God’s grace knows no limit.
Come as you are.
With fear and trembling, with helplessness or speechlessness, with worries or anxieties, with failures or regrets, with anger or frustration. Come with your struggles, with the burden of the world’s pain, besieged by viruses, unfaithful leaders, and twisted truth. Come with your hopes and longings.
Trust
Trust that we will find Divine Mercy in the depth of our heart, where pain and bliss intermingle.
Listen and listen again.
Flee into Grace. Regularly take in this remedy against despair. It gains in strength with repetition, this medicine of the Divine healer. Let the music be a balm for your trembling heart.
Share
Do not stay alone in your sorrows. Hold them before the Divine mercy. Join our communion of mourners. Let us enter this sacred space of Divine compassion together. Where Christ’s passion turns us to ComPassion. Bring with you the sorrows of the world which lay heavy on your shoulders and hold them up into our shared plea for mercy.
“Loss and new beginnings are of the same journey. We are on our pilgrimage towards Easter. Through the tomb.”
This post is the fifth of our Passion Week Consolations 2023. You can still subscribe here. To enter our virtual gathering space click here. To share your thoughts with us, write us here or comment below. To offer your gift, click here. If you are looking for personal consultation, visit our PathFinder.
Peace and Blessings, Almut & Chuck